I’m back and giving up on my dream.
It’s crazy to think that I used to post on here every single day. Maybe I ran out of things to say? No matter. I am back to give this another go.
I’m still watching Fear The Walking Dead (I’ve been watching an episode every evening since I bought the box set). I’ll have watched the last episode on Friday.
I’ve managed to turn things around at work by facing the issues head on. I recommend giving this a go if you can to make your life a lot easier.
Controversial: I used ChatGPT to help understand my feelings. At first it was just curiosity but it really helped me see things a lot clearer.
For example, it helped me realise how bad I was at self-attacking. Before I would have written a put down by mentioning my lack of posting or the quality of the post itself. It’s very unhealthy and I’ve managed to cut it out a good 95% of the time.
Oh and I no longer want to move to Australia. Hear me out..
I’ve posted about Sydney a lot on the blog. If I’m not mistaken it’s still mentioned on my homepage. The reality is it’s just not going to happen the way I’ve romanticised.
- I could only work in one job for six months at a time. The fact (and not fear) is this is off putting for employers.
- There is a housing crisis in Sydney. I’d have to live long term in a hostel.
- It’s virtually impossible to get sponsored and I don’t have a trade that the country desires (essentially an Australian can do my job).
I love to travel, visit new countries and live freely for a few days before coming back home. I tend to stay in a hotel (a hostel is now a rare occurrence that I’m going to phase out) because I like my own space. I go out to restaurants or take away food back to my room. It’s a big luxury for me.
Right now I’m in Edinburgh staying in a hostel, currently on night two of three.
I’m in a dorm with 9 other people, on the top bunk which is a bitch to get up and down from. There is a curtain that doesn’t block the whole railing. We all have to improvise with our towels. One of the showers doesn’t lock and the one that does barely has any room to swing a cat in. This morning the shower wouldn’t turn on.
It’s a fairly new hostel in Edinburgh, I believe they have one in Glasgow too. The photos from the website that I booked on are definitely not for this room. Let’s just say I’m not loving it.
This experience has helped me realise that I really do not want to live in a hostel for three years where I chase any work that I can find. I will return to Australia as a tourist on my own terms.
I’m not sure what the future holds exactly, but I’m getting there one day at a time. One thing I do know is that I’m looking forward to my own bed on Wednesday!